April 30, 2005

Death by meme - A poets last cry

I damn near crapped myself when I found out I got double tagged for this particular meme twice before I could do anything about it. Since I got double tapped I get two verses! In addition I just got whacked with another meme about dissapointing my mom or something. Let me knock everything out in one post:

Turd in a punchbowl
floating around
Turd in a punchbowl
this meme must drown

Turd in a punchbowl
left by a llama
Turd in a punchbowl
I'm sorry mamma

okay, the poetry side is done. Now for the "me as a loser" portion:

First, this came from Jess over at LOSLI and LOSLI. I'm giving both sites because he's moving to Munuviana!

Okay, dissapointment to my parents:

If I could be a scientist…
I would get busted for having the biggest meth lab on the planet. Of course, I'd get released because I would have been smart enough to get a permit for meth so I could discover a new way to fuel the world's energy supply on the drug. Okay, yes, I sort of tweaked the one Jess had. I plaigiarized. HA! I bet I dissapointed me parents on THAT one!

If I could be a musician…
I'd start a death metal rap group. I'd have wicked deadly beats that kids would flock to and no parent on earth would want their kids to listen to it. Listen to the Linkin' Park - Jay-Z album and sort of consider those songs ballads. That's what I'd put out.

If I could be a doctor…
I'd get disbarred in every state because I'd end up cutting into patients for things llike a headache or menstrual cramps. I just have this weird fascination with blood...even if it's my own.

If I could be a painter…
I would starve to death. I really, really suck at painting. I couldn't even make it as a house painter I suck so bad. Don't believe me? Go ask my wife.

If I could be an innkeeper…
I'd spend all of my time blogging, the help would hate me and everything would run like a regular inn. I would really care less about anyone...and llamas. I'd have to have a llama petting zoo...maybe just alpacas, they're sooo much cuter.

Okay, the end of all three memes have come. Since each one gives out three links I get to push this to nine people. YES NINE SUCKERS GET THIS!

But wait, there's more: Since I was hit with three memes at the same time I believe I get the right to mutate the whole deal.

This is what I want all NINE of my victims to do:

I want you to write a poem. Free form doesn't count. I want you to be able to define your poem. Put verse to rhyme or other recognized structure. I'd like to see a freedom from free-form. We're all great writers here. This is a chance to showcase your talents. If you stick with the most simple (yet most difficult to do right) forms, the haiku, I want to see two and they better be done right...or I'll make you redo them. Yeah, I'm gonna be a pain that way.

To make this a proper meme I need to start this off with a poem of my own:

This poetry of blogging says alot.
It takes a soul with wit, and pompe and prose.
Simplicity is something it is not
It's hard to come out smelling like a rose

In every style of writing there's the snob
At every turn they cut your words to bits
They're seeking out your status for to rob
I'm sure you know they're nasty little shits.

Some think the best of blogging is to post
By looking through the blogosphere a while
The power gained is not with who has most.
It's gained by metering their class and style

Some think that controversy hits the mark
They scream at thier proponents "take him down!"
They may as well be writing for South Park
If something yells at nothing is there sound?

Once in a while you will see what I mean
Now go forth my victims and flesh out this meme.

The first four are Iambic Pentameter. The footer is dylactic. A good reference for knowing what I'm talking about is here

Now for the victims. Each one of these gets to send this to however many stanzas they wrote. For example, If this followed that pattern I would tag four bloggers because the last stanza is a fotter, not a full stanza.:
1. Mountain Mama at Holy Tornado because my grandma is where I got my ability for verse. You go grandma.
2. Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities. I don't know if Jeff would do this sort of thing, but I bet he'd rock at it.
3. Gordon at Cranky Neocon. He's got the skillz that pays da billz.
4. Anybody at Itsapundit. This is simply because the real Glenn Shady will not stand up.
5. Jane at Armies of Liberation. Simply because she needs a break from Yemen.
6. Steve over at ACB or Blithered simply because no other soul in the world is blogging at 3:30 in the morning. (He just left me a comment.)
7. Raven at And Rightly So because with a name like "Raven" she better have some wicked mad poetry skillz or I'll make sure Poe rolls over in his grave. (Plus, I owe her one for the cool TWA digs setup.)
8. Cao from, well..Cao's Blog because I think a little gaelic rhyme would be kickin'...if she can really brogue it up.
9. Last, but not least, Kender, from Kender's Musings needs to drop a turd in this punchbowl. Why? Well, because he's raw and unadulterated. I think that's cool.

Okay, I am done. If anyone else feels like they're in the mood just write one up anyway and sally forth from there. It's more fun that way.

Everyone, remember to please trackback or leave a comment on this post. Once you've completed, I'll put you in the list of poets.

Happy Memeing!

Posted by aakaakaak at April 30, 2005 03:45 AM

Thank you thank you thank you for NOT tagging me with this thing. I can not write poety. I can barely write my name. Did I mention THANK YOU!

Posted by: Patty-Jo at April 30, 2005 01:38 PM

He he he, nice Jeremy, really nice. And you upped the ante with "real" poetry!

Posted by: JulieB at May 1, 2005 12:48 AM

So it doesn't have to say turd in a fishbowl?

Posted by: Jane at May 1, 2005 07:02 AM

NO, for the love of god, no.

Write whatever you want. This is NOT the turd meme...of course, after reading Cao's I'm not so sure...

Posted by: Jeremy at May 1, 2005 01:37 PM

Come one, 4 simple lines on the turd meme. Indeed.

Did I mention I own the blogosphere?

Posted by: Puppy Blender at May 1, 2005 01:59 PM

I had not one word about a turd
In all my ramblings at home
About dwarves and mice and crickets I wrote
And next I'll speak of gnomes
I know not what to say of turds
Whether in bowls or on a bench
But if it's turds you wish me to write of
Perhaps I'll nail the french.

Posted by: Kender at May 1, 2005 02:10 PM

All I can say is whew. Glad I'm not tagged...but it wouldn't matter anyways because I have my tag resistant shield on, all tags are now instantly deflected and I am tag free! ...only 19.95 on ebay...

Posted by: jody at May 2, 2005 01:58 AM

Alright now, it's hard enough to keep up with these things when they spread exponentially on their own -- no helping them spread by exponentially spreading them yourself! ;)

Posted by: Ogre at May 2, 2005 02:40 PM

I will post my poem today. I hope I did it right and it's what you wanted. :)

Posted by: Mountain Mama at May 2, 2005 04:44 PM

Jermemy, I will try to have a poem done in alittle bit. You challenged me! I don't write this stuff well. Brat. I'll get yah back you know.

Posted by: Raven at May 2, 2005 06:53 PM

I know. Hehe. It's the name, Raven. I couldn't help myself.

:) ;) :P

Posted by: Jeremy at May 2, 2005 06:56 PM

I'll take that challenge. But Iambic pentameter? Dude, I haven't even used the word Iambic since high school.

Posted by: Gordon at May 3, 2005 08:46 AM

You also got taged by Mustang over at Stacking Swivel.

Posted by: Michael at May 3, 2005 10:47 AM
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